Oh baby, baby it's wild world.

i need to move out.

Last I checked…I’m the one that is moving over 2,000 miles away. I didn’t realize I’m also the one who is supposed to make all the plans with people who want to see me before I move.

‘Why haven’t I seen you lately? Too busy with your other friends catching up?’

No, fuck you very much. In fact while you’ve been out partying all the time, I have been home. Spending quality time with my family. Where you KNOW you’re more than welcome.

Fuck all of this dumb bullshit. I’m tired off it. These are the moments where I cannot wait to move.

So I take that bitch in to get it looked at.

Its going to cost over 300 dollars to get it fixed.

And even after they do that its not guaranteed that next month something else isn’t going to fucking happen.

Why? Because they have to rip shit apart to figure out where the hell the leak is coming from.

Fuck that. I am not dropping 300 (ormore) dollars on a car I am not going to be driving that much longer because I am moving to Portland.KTHANKS.

I hate this day.

I would like it to be over.









that i’m going to be okay.

i wish i had someone to talk to.

I went to Portland to visit my boyfriend of a year and a half. I had to leave on Tuesday to come back. Needless to say I am not doing well. I’m not okay. I miss him. I love him. And I really need to be with him. The night I got home I talked to my mom about moving there. I don’t have anything going for me in this town that I am in. I’m working at a dead end job. I have little friends. 

While I was away I missed my mother, my friend, and my cat. That is it. I did not miss “home” one bit. In talking to my mom and a few others about it. I feel like I’m not getting the support and love that I need. 

My heart aches. I don’t feel well. I know that as the days and weeks go on that we are apart more that we both will start feeling a little better and that it will get a tiny bit easier. 

This time apart needs to go by fast. And when things start falling together I can only hope and pray they fall together the way we want them to, efficiently. 

I’m in love, I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!

I just want to scream or cry.

or.

both.

i don’t want to be here.

i want/need to be back in portland.

they say home is where the heart is.

he has my heart.

when i’m with him, 

i am home.

i wish i had someone…but hes it. hes the only one. there is not a single person other than my mother that will sit and listen to me cry, complain, be happy, be angry, be sad, anything…other than him. hes my heart and soul. and i love him more than anything.

please dear god,

if its not too much to ask…please let things start falling into place quickly..and correctly..thank you..

sincerely, jena.